See Luminosity
Luminosity: noun

The Messy of Ministry

The Messy of Ministry
“Lord, please break my heart for the things that break yours.” It’s a prayer I have sometimes regretted praying. Because, more and more, He has answered it. And that has made...

At the Halfway Point…What’s the Point?

At the Halfway Point…What’s the Point?
The Funeral I didn’t even realize it was my first funeral since Dominic, until the moment I sat down in the pew. Then I all of a sudden, in a grief-wave rush, very much realized. I guess I just...

Weightless

Weightless
It absolutely took my breath away. Standing, alone, at the top of the snow-blanketed ski mountain, my breath made puffs in the frigid air – that is, until it was taken away. Lilac, rose,...

Shifting From the Promise to the Present

Shifting From the Promise to the Present
The whole “promise” thing makes me want to scream. I have spent so much time trying to figure out if I have a promise from the Lord about more children, and, if so, how this miscarriage...
The Test of Blessing

The Test of Blessing

We may say we are committed to God, but how do we really know? We’ve been studying the book of Deuteronomy, in our January Bible Study at church, and it is a book that provides a lot of insights for where I...
A Promise, A Blessing, or Neither?

A Promise, A Blessing, or Neither?

It has been haunting me, the question: “If I could get it wrong, after so much effort and time and energy and care, how can I ever hear His voice in my life?” And, then: “If I can’t...
Self-Centered Sufferer

Self-Centered Sufferer

I am really self-centered. No matter how much I claim I love my Lord, no matter how much I seek Him and pray and read His Word, no matter how much I endeavor to serve and minister and share His...
Confused

Confused

It’s a new year. That thought is a little scary to me, to be honest. The snarky comment keeps rearing up in my head, “What child are we going to lose THIS year?” In spite of the specter of...
Perspective

Perspective

The week prior to Christmas was a hard one. Yep, still here without a baby. And this miscarriage isn’t even completely over, yet. And, yep, it’s completely miserable just waiting for it to end, so I can...
The Sacrifice of the Christmas Promise

The Sacrifice of the Christmas Promise

How many Christmases, with the world focused on the baby who came into the world, am I going to be blogging about losing a baby? Ughhhhh. So I’ve been doing a whole lot of praying and listening and...
Angry

Angry

You know all those stages of grief? Yeah, well I am fully, completely in the stage of ANGER.   It’s Different This Time I didn’t really get here, with Dominic. First of all, I never expected...
The Blue Ridge Women’s Center After Knowing

The Blue Ridge Women’s Center Afte...

I am bursting out of my skin with excitement.  There are times, early in the morning and in the evening, when I just lie in bed doing nothing but thinking about the reality that we are having more children,...
Losing, Again

Losing, Again

I was wrong. Devastatingly wrong. There is no baby – It is definitely a miscarriage. Remember that critical part of the Miraculous-Hear-Correctly-and-Obey Faith Building Plan, hearing correctly? Yeah,...
The Miraculous Hear-Correctly-and-Obey Faith-Building Plan

The Miraculous Hear-Correctly-and-Obey F...

The Lord had told me, over and over again, through this pregnancy, to trust Him. To hope in Him. To have faith that He is the Truth, not what I see. This has been a true battle – a war in my soul. To...
Physical Proof? Or Proof Of His Presence?

Physical Proof? Or Proof Of His Presence...

Wanting Physical Proof   I have two weeks to wait for another ultrasound. Two weeks to find out: Am I going to receive the desire of my heart, or am I going to experience the second greatest heartbreak of...

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The Messy of Ministry