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To Dominic on Your Birthday: The Measure of a Year

To Dominic on Your Birthday: The Measure of a Year

How do we measure a year? In birthdays. This one – your first – what does it measure? The ways we have loved you, without you, and how we have known pain unimagined, heartbreak, the stone cold hard reality of death at our door. Dreams ripped apart, theology torn Fists to the sky, fallen souls […]

Gravestone Rain

Gravestone Rain

I am supposed to be planning my son’s first birthday. Instead, I went to his grave. I’ve written so much about the ways The Lord has blessed me through Dominic’s death. But sometimes, like today, it just sucks.  Sometimes I am just a mother without a child, sitting in a cemetery, instead of figuring out […]

Weary

Weary

I love my Lord. And I trust Him completely, and truly believe that He is always working for my good. But sometimes I’m just weary of it all. I’m a fighter. But these past few weeks even I have wanted to just surrender. Life is so much harder than anyone tells you, when you start […]

Suffering for Good

Suffering for Good

Today my youngest daughter and I went by Dominic’s grave. Just a brief visit, we stopped by to…remember? Grieve? Reacquaint ourselves with the fact that we really did have a baby? I don’t know why we went, maybe for all of the above. Afterward came the inevitable musings: “I miss Dominic, Mom”. “I wish he […]

Dominic’s Diaper Genie

Dominic’s Diaper Genie

We are selling our baby stuff. I have kept the diapers that people gave me for Dominic in his closet. Until now. Thinking that we would imminently have more children and I would need them. It’s been a year. For a variety of very important reasons, the Lord has made it clear that we are […]

Grass on a Grave

Grass on a Grave

It has been almost a year since Dominic. In some ways, it seems like it all happened yesterday, and in some ways it feels like a lifetime has passed. A Year of Healing Brokenness One thing that is odd, when you’ve lost someone, is how differently time seems to function. I know time is moving […]

Justice Girl

Justice Girl

I didn’t think it was possible, but since Dominic I’ve actually become even more intense. On a scale of 1-10, I pretty much live life above an 8. All the time. There’s just not much in this world that I don’t care about. Every political issue that concerned me before is now an undying passion […]

Reflections on Independence Day

Reflections on Independence Day

4th of July. Family time, cookouts, fireworks, and… Independence. At least, it’s supposed to be about that. I love my country. And I thank my Lord every day for the freedom I have by living here – particularly the freedom to teach my children my values, to raise them as I deem appropriate, and to […]