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Physical Proof? Or Proof Of His Presence?

Physical Proof? Or Proof Of His Presence?

Wanting Physical Proof   I have two weeks to wait for another ultrasound. Two weeks to find out: Am I going to receive the desire of my heart, or am I going to experience the second greatest heartbreak of my life? But, see, even those very questions – they put faith in where we all […]

It’s Not Good News

It’s Not Good News

I finally got into the doctor today – after 5 days of bleeding. If you’re going to start bleeding big time from your pregnancy, the day before the Thanksgiving holiday is not the day to do it. Just sayin’. I got an ultrasound, and the news wasn’t conclusive, but neither was it good. They were […]

God’s Promise To Me

God’s Promise To Me

It has taken a while for the reality to sink in; to believe that it’s really, truly, real… We are going to have more children. I kept one of the pregnancy tests (yeah, there were a bunch of them) out on the bathroom counter for about a week, just because I’ve dreamed about having a […]

The Lord’s Next Chapter For Us

The Lord’s Next Chapter For Us

The Lord tells us, clearly, that in this world, “you will have trouble”. He tells us to “count the cost” and warns us that following Him means carrying our cross and denying ourselves and suffering. Scripture makes it clear that this world is “in bondage to decay”, that sin and pain and death are part […]

3 Days

3 Days

July 31st, a new family celebration Your birthday, the day you were born. But another date looming, August 3rd, – shouldn’t be – A mere 3 days past, we now mourn.   Ephemeral, fleeting; life hardly started Wings clipped before learning to fly Potentiality abbreviated by finality; Hello truncated too soon by goodbye. 3 days […]

To Dominic on Your Birthday: The Measure of a Year

To Dominic on Your Birthday: The Measure of a Year

How do we measure a year? In birthdays. This one – your first – what does it measure? The ways we have loved you, without you, and how we have known pain unimagined, heartbreak, the stone cold hard reality of death at our door. Dreams ripped apart, theology torn Fists to the sky, fallen souls […]

Gravestone Rain

Gravestone Rain

I am supposed to be planning my son’s first birthday. Instead, I went to his grave. I’ve written so much about the ways The Lord has blessed me through Dominic’s death. But sometimes, like today, it just sucks.  Sometimes I am just a mother without a child, sitting in a cemetery, instead of figuring out […]

Dominic’s Diaper Genie

Dominic’s Diaper Genie

We are selling our baby stuff. I have kept the diapers that people gave me for Dominic in his closet. Until now. Thinking that we would imminently have more children and I would need them. It’s been a year. For a variety of very important reasons, the Lord has made it clear that we are […]

Grass on a Grave

Grass on a Grave

It has been almost a year since Dominic. In some ways, it seems like it all happened yesterday, and in some ways it feels like a lifetime has passed. A Year of Healing Brokenness One thing that is odd, when you’ve lost someone, is how differently time seems to function. I know time is moving […]

Turning Milk Into Wine

Turning Milk Into Wine

It’s been called “liquid gold”, and for good reason. Breastmilk, that amazing, life-giving gift that increases children’s health, encourages mother-child bonding, and may even increase children’s IQ. And it’s so very precious – when there is not enough, there are very limited ways to get more, and when it’s gone, it’s gone. The Milk Miracles […]

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