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You Can’t Be A Christian And Vote For…

You Can’t Be A Christian And Vote For…

If you’ve been on social media at all, you know that everyone is ABSOLUTELY SURE of how you must vote if you are a Christian. I have heard that you are not a Christian if you vote for the baby-killing, corrupt liar extraordinaire Clinton, and I have heard that you are not a Christian if […]

The Next Chapter I Haven’t Wanted

The Next Chapter I Haven’t Wanted

So far 2016 has not been kind. No, 2016 hasn’t resulted in a pregnancy (yes, I do realize that at 41 I should be long beyond even hoping for it). It has, however, brought the loss of two of my best friends within a three-week time span, whose husbands’ jobs moved them to two different […]

Grief 301: Scrapbooking and The Lord’s Next Plan For Me

Grief 301: Scrapbooking and The Lord’s Next Plan For Me

It is almost 2016, and it has been months since I have blogged. The past few months have been a slow, laborious process of doing grief work – but not so much over Dominic. I have realized that this past year the greatest portion of my grief has not been so much over the children […]

How The Last 3 Years Have Changed Me

How The Last 3 Years Have Changed Me

It has been a month of tears. I’ve had just enough time to get past the 17th – the due date for the child I lost in miscarriage – to start emotionally preparing for the 31st. I can’t believe he would have been 3 years old. We would know if all that hair turned out […]

July and the Fulfiller of Desires

July and the Fulfiller of Desires

I hate July. July 31st was the day Dominic was born – the child I lost. Today, July 17th, was the day my most recent baby was supposed to be born – the one I lost in miscarriage. Instead of giving birth to the child for which I have longed, I am relegating the baby […]

Over the Hill, Not Empty-handed

Over the Hill, Not Empty-handed

I’ve passed the threshold. No, it’s not the “over the hill” mark, although it certainly is that, too. This birthday has marked a new place in my life that I never thought I’d reach – The age of 40 without any more children. Since Dominic, I’ve just known, somewhere deep, that I would have more […]

Weightless

Weightless

It absolutely took my breath away. Standing, alone, at the top of the snow-blanketed ski mountain, my breath made puffs in the frigid air – that is, until it was taken away. Lilac, rose, apricot and butter hues painted the never-ending sky, radiating their infusion into the deepening blue as far as I could see […]

Shifting From the Promise to the Present

Shifting From the Promise to the Present

The whole “promise” thing makes me want to scream. I have spent so much time trying to figure out if I have a promise from the Lord about more children, and, if so, how this miscarriage fits into all of it. I have trusted and doubted and given up and castigated myself for being a […]

The Test of Blessing

The Test of Blessing

We may say we are committed to God, but how do we really know? We’ve been studying the book of Deuteronomy, in our January Bible Study at church, and it is a book that provides a lot of insights for where I am, right now. In Deuteronomy, God lays out two tests for the Israelites: […]

A Promise, A Blessing, or Neither?

A Promise, A Blessing, or Neither?

It has been haunting me, the question: “If I could get it wrong, after so much effort and time and energy and care, how can I ever hear His voice in my life?” And, then: “If I can’t hear His voice, how can I make it?” Living Without My Oxygen Hearing God’s voice was what […]

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