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The Next Chapter I Haven’t Wanted

The Next Chapter I Haven’t Wanted

So far 2016 has not been kind. No, 2016 hasn’t resulted in a pregnancy (yes, I do realize that at 41 I should be long beyond even hoping for it). It has, however, brought the loss of two of my best friends within a three-week time span, whose husbands’ jobs moved them to two different […]

Grief 301: Scrapbooking and The Lord’s Next Plan For Me

Grief 301: Scrapbooking and The Lord’s Next Plan For Me

It is almost 2016, and it has been months since I have blogged. The past few months have been a slow, laborious process of doing grief work – but not so much over Dominic. I have realized that this past year the greatest portion of my grief has not been so much over the children […]

How The Last 3 Years Have Changed Me

How The Last 3 Years Have Changed Me

It has been a month of tears. I’ve had just enough time to get past the 17th – the due date for the child I lost in miscarriage – to start emotionally preparing for the 31st. I can’t believe he would have been 3 years old. We would know if all that hair turned out […]

July and the Fulfiller of Desires

July and the Fulfiller of Desires

I hate July. July 31st was the day Dominic was born – the child I lost. Today, July 17th, was the day my most recent baby was supposed to be born – the one I lost in miscarriage. Instead of giving birth to the child for which I have longed, I am relegating the baby […]

Love That the World Calls Hate

Love That the World Calls Hate

How can a Christian convey love and simultaneously live according to truth, in a world that deems the truth unloving? It’s a question that has reverberated in my life in so many ways. It is also a question that I believe will become more and more important for every Christian to answer in the days […]

The Messy of Ministry

The Messy of Ministry

“Lord, please break my heart for the things that break yours.” It’s a prayer I have sometimes regretted praying. Because, more and more, He has answered it. And that has made life… Messy. Increasingly, as my life moves forward, I find myself burdened for people. There are just so many needs. So many people who […]

Weightless

Weightless

It absolutely took my breath away. Standing, alone, at the top of the snow-blanketed ski mountain, my breath made puffs in the frigid air – that is, until it was taken away. Lilac, rose, apricot and butter hues painted the never-ending sky, radiating their infusion into the deepening blue as far as I could see […]

The Sacrifice of the Christmas Promise

The Sacrifice of the Christmas Promise

How many Christmases, with the world focused on the baby who came into the world, am I going to be blogging about losing a baby? Ughhhhh. So I’ve been doing a whole lot of praying and listening and talking with God and a whole lot of processing and writing (well, actually, those are never mutually […]

The Miraculous Hear-Correctly-and-Obey Faith-Building Plan

The Miraculous Hear-Correctly-and-Obey Faith-Building Plan

The Lord had told me, over and over again, through this pregnancy, to trust Him. To hope in Him. To have faith that He is the Truth, not what I see. This has been a true battle – a war in my soul. To keep looking at mounting physical evidence and deny that its logical […]

Do You Trust That I Am the Truth?

Do You Trust That I Am the Truth?

The Earth Is Trembling I am bleeding. I don’t even care that that’s TMI, because right now there are just too many more important things going on in my world than whether or not I am following guidelines of decorum. I have been bleeding for two days, and I don’t mean just a little spotting. […]

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