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How The Last 3 Years Have Changed Me

How The Last 3 Years Have Changed Me

It has been a month of tears. I’ve had just enough time to get past the 17th – the due date for the child I lost in miscarriage – to start emotionally preparing for the 31st. I can’t believe he would have been 3 years old. We would know if all that hair turned out […]

Shifting From the Promise to the Present

Shifting From the Promise to the Present

The whole “promise” thing makes me want to scream. I have spent so much time trying to figure out if I have a promise from the Lord about more children, and, if so, how this miscarriage fits into all of it. I have trusted and doubted and given up and castigated myself for being a […]

The Sacrifice of the Christmas Promise

The Sacrifice of the Christmas Promise

How many Christmases, with the world focused on the baby who came into the world, am I going to be blogging about losing a baby? Ughhhhh. So I’ve been doing a whole lot of praying and listening and talking with God and a whole lot of processing and writing (well, actually, those are never mutually […]

Surprised by Joy

Surprised by Joy

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged. And, you know what? That’s a really good thing. Writing has been a light in the tunnel, a path through the storm, these past 18 months.  It is putting words to page that has been the anchor to connect me to God’s purpose and goodness in the […]

The Season of Joy and Living in Egypt

The Season of Joy and Living in Egypt

It is the season of joy. The Christ child has come, the divine become human, to bridge the chasm our God-rejection created. Holiness proffered by grace, atonement procured by suffering…hope secured for eternity. For me, personally, this season, the blessings abound. Time to read snuggled up with my children each day. A refrigerator stocked full […]

Laugh and Live? or Cry and Die?

Laugh and Live? or Cry and Die?

Have you ever gotten to the place where you wish you could just check out of this life, just be done with it all – and go on home to Jesus? Yeah, I’ve felt that a lot, since Dominic. And apparently, I’m not alone: “For we know that if the earthly tent we live in […]

To Dominic on Your Birthday: The Measure of a Year

To Dominic on Your Birthday: The Measure of a Year

How do we measure a year? In birthdays. This one – your first – what does it measure? The ways we have loved you, without you, and how we have known pain unimagined, heartbreak, the stone cold hard reality of death at our door. Dreams ripped apart, theology torn Fists to the sky, fallen souls […]

Weary

Weary

I love my Lord. And I trust Him completely, and truly believe that He is always working for my good. But sometimes I’m just weary of it all. I’m a fighter. But these past few weeks even I have wanted to just surrender. Life is so much harder than anyone tells you, when you start […]

3 Second Salisbury Steak Thank Yous

3 Second Salisbury Steak Thank Yous

Thank Yous and Salisbury Steak It’s an idea I got from my sister, who got it from the amazing Ron Clark Academy in Atlanta, Georgia. One of the “Essential 55” rules used by award-winning educator Ron Clark to “take apathetic students and transform them into award-winning scholars” is this: “Always say thank you when someone […]

My Mother’s Day Label

My Mother’s Day Label

The tears came again, today. Mother’s Day actually sneaked up on me this year, and I didn’t even realize it was coming up until two days before. Probably a good thing, that. No Label For Me This is the first Mother’s Day that I am a… Well, what am I, exactly? Certainly not an orphan […]

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