See Luminosity

Why I Write

Why I Write

My life has changed. July 31, 2012 is the day it happened – the day my son Dominic was born. After an uneventful pregnancy and beautiful home birth, our son was diagnosed, much to our surprise, with Spinal Muscular Atrophy – a degenerative, fatal disease which affects the body’s muscular system. The Lord gave us almost four beautiful, difficult, precious days with our little man, as we loved him and sent him back to God. The days, weeks, and now months that have followed have been a journey of tremendous pain and amazing joy, as we have sought to walk the path, with our Lord, of being parents who have lost a child. We are not the same. And life no longer looks the same.

Writing is one of the things that the Lord has used to get me through. I’ve written for others for quite a while, including, Home Educators Association of Virginia, and TheHomeSchoolMom. I’ve always loved to write, and I’ve always kept a personal journal; I have a journal every year of my life since the first grade. But after the loss of my son, writing became a lifeline. It became a means through which I was able to express my pain, chronicle my journey, and hear God’s voice. I wrote for hours, right after Dominic’s death. There would be days where I could hardly move my eyes from the computer screen. And although almost 5 months have passed, writing continues to be an anchor for my soul. Something about putting words on a page makes them come alive. Gives them meaning. I can think words, but it is only when I write them down that I begin to best make sense of them.

God is always doing things. Around me, in me…but I often seem to miss them unless I write about them. It’s like the emotions and distractions of life choke out the Spirit’s whisper, unless I can put it down on paper. By writing it down, I can start discerning meaning out of the barrage of thoughts, feelings, circumstances, and scripture that come my way. Writing allows me to be present in life, instead of simply let it pass me by. And God, I have learned, is in the moment, the right now.

Ever since losing my son, I’ve had to live in the right now.

Living in the “what was” brings a tremendous amount of pain and sorrow, and living in the “what might be” brings a fair amount of stress and worry. So I write, in an attempt to live in the right now.

Right now I want to see God. I want to experience Him in every moment, and be able to thank Him for His grace in everything that happens. I want to see His truth in my own life, in my family, and in the world around me. I want to be in the right now of God’s glory, right where I am, right with what I’m experiencing. I want the brilliance, the radiance of God’s presence to outshine every dark place in my life, and in the lives of others.

I want to See Luminosity.

So this blog is my journey, my perspective, my search for Truth. It may look like musings about my daily parenting struggles, or my views on issues in politics, or laments along my path of grief. But, ultimately, it is my effort to find and illuminate the light of the Lord in every part of life.

“But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light – I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 3:21, John 8:12).

3 Responses to “Why I Write”

  1. Faydra says:

    Welcome to blog land. I’m so glad you’re here. 🙂

  2. Amy says:

    So happy you love to write…I love to read what you write. Thinking of you, your family and your precious little one this Christmas…

  3. Autumn says:

    Happy to be able to share in your journey through this special outlet. Think of you more than you will ever know. Autumn

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